


Bright 2

by hazelnuthanna



Series: The sad spiral [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Part 2, Phan - Freeform, but happy, omg, this is even sadder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5418326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelnuthanna/pseuds/hazelnuthanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now, Phil is back, and Dan has to explain everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bright 2

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 because @Juli wished for it!  
> here, my dear

The older man looked down at him, and for one second Dan couldn´t think straight:  
All that was left in his head was the face in front of him, so pretty, so handsome, so..... perfect.

But still, he couldn´t help but stare and cry while the older one plopped down next to him, a hand sliding across his face, softly, caressing every mole and dimple, running over chapped unkissed lips.  
His eyes clung onto the blue ones across so desperately it was almost funny.

" Phil.... Phil.... Phil...." He repeated, like a mantra, over and over again. Saying this name.... it helped.  
A bit.

" What..why are you crying, Dan? I just... I just came to get the plants.... Why are you crying?" He asked, again, just when the Intro to Connor´s channel started playing. " Oh.... you saw the video, didn´t you? Dan, I´m..... it is because I outed you, isn´t it? Oh gods, I´m sorry. I should have.... Oh gods, Dan, Dan.... I´m sorry- I´m"

_he even thinks he is the one that made you cry! Go on, tell him you can´t forget him, Daniel. Tell him that you are pathetic and still, still in love with him. Go on, Tell him._

He whimpered, his hand reaching up to touch Phil´s, and he couldn´t breath properly. Phil was here, and he wasn´t, at the same time. If he really was here, just because of the plants, then..... then Dan didn´t know what he should do. He loved Phil, so much, still.  
" Phil..." He whimpered. " Don´t be sorry"

" Yes! I outed you, even if I didn´t knew if you where ready or safe. Oh, Dan, I´m horrible, I shouldn´t-"

" STOP" Dan screamed, and felt Phil´s hand jerk away. " Just.... just stop" He repeated. " It´s not your fault I´m crying"

_It is. He made you cry because he left you. But you know that it´s your fault he did, don´t you?  
Dan, you know. Stop crying and pretending, just tell him.... and then watch him leave, will you?_

He shook his head, staring up at Phil, his eyes dwelling up with tears again, those bloddy, stupid tears.  
" I love you" He whispered, barely hearable. " I love you, Philip Micheal Lester"  
Dan watched as Phil´s eyes widened, bigger now than ever.

_I told you, he hates you! He hates you, Daniel, you messed up again_

The voice inside his head was too happy. Way to happy about this fact, and he bit his lip so hard it started bleeding, the blood filling up his mouth and he nearly gagged, until-

Until the blood wasn´t just in his mouth any longer.

Warm lips, warmer than anything he tasted those last five months, and his breath wasn´t anything but caught, Had he just let out that tiny gasp or was that just imagination? He couldn´t tell, he didn´t know-  
Phil.

_What is happening? That wasn´t part of the plan! Pull away! Pull away! I tell you, pull away!_

**No. No. I deserve this, of anything, I deserve this kiss, I deserve Phil Lester and you´re not going to stop me. If I ever deserved anything, it is this. This kiss. I deserve this. So, SHUT UP.**

He kissed back before he even knew what he was doing. Like a drowing man searching for land he raised his arms and slung them around Phils neck, pulling the older man closer to him; like a starving man getting food after a long time, he kissed Phil hoping, begging that it would never stop, that the hurt he had over those last five months would never come back.  
His thoughts, his world, his mind- all of them were filled with one name now: Phil.

But then, the heat and the land and the food-gods, how wrong this sounded- were gone again and he was being confronted with a shocked face and some very wide opened blue eyes.  
He loved those eyes more than he could describe.

_Oh look what you did again, Dan. Not so confident now, are we? You will never say anything against me ever again, will you?_

The voice inside his head started laughing a high-pitched, horrible laugh and he bend over clutching his head in his hands as he always did when the voice got too loud- but he always had been alone with this until now. He started crying.

" I´m sorry.... I didn´t know what I was doing to you" He heard Phil mumble, ever so softly, and he looked up to see his face so close to him. " Why didn´t you tell me?"

" I send you messages. For the first month, everyday" Dan mumbled back, hoping that Phil would kiss him again, and he closed his eyes, leaning up a bit.  **Say you love me back, Phil.**

" My Phone.... was broken, and then Connor said that you probably are long over me.... My phone was broken, Dan..... but why would Connor say that? Why? Why?" Phil mumbled, more to himself as to Dan.

_Great, Dan, ruin this relationship. Great._

Dan shook his head, because he didn´t know what else to do. He didn´t know what he should do, so he just looked at Phil, his eyes drifting up and down between his eyes and his lips.  
And then, Phil shook his head, as well and smiled at Dan. He knew what would happen now, he knew that Phil would leave now-  
But then, Phil started talking again.

" You know,  I don´t know. But I don´t want to leave Britain again" Phil said, and Dan looked up. That was worse, so much worse. That meant that Phil would move back to Britain.....and along with him, Connor. He froze.

" Oh.... where to? Manchester..... I don´t think that...." he stuttered, his heart aching inside his chest and the voice inside his head laughing.

" I was thinking, London would be alright?" Phil said, and Dan shook his head, nodded, then. Phil would move back to London, with Connor. " Aren´t you happy, Dan?"

" I.... but, I don´t think that Connor will like to leave America" Dan heard himself say.

And then, lips were locked with each other again and Dan was overwhelmed with the warmth Phil always brought with him, with this burning sunlight every kiss he shared with Dan made the younger boy light up.  
Even if it didn´t make sense, the voice shut up for a second, obviously overwhelmed, as well, and Dan smiled a little bit into the kiss, especially when Phil wrapped his arms around Dans body, pulling him on top of him.

" I´m not with Connor any longer, he isn´t even here" Phil whispered between two small kisses. " I´m sorry, but I think that I maybe still be in love with you" 

Dan gasped, and this time he was sure it was him who made this. " But.....why were you with him in first place?"

" That´s biology. You´re often attracted to the opposite of you- but you´re longer attracted to someone who is similar to you, so, surprise: I love you"  Phil mumbled and Dan cried into the older mans shoulder after that.

_He still hurt you_

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Shut the fuck up.**


End file.
